DBT Distress Tolerance Module

Welcome to Distress Tolerance

This is a two part series

Part 1

Sometimes life hands us moments we can’t change—loss, pain, fear, or overwhelm that feels bigger than what we can hold. In those moments, our nervous system might go into survival mode: fight, flight, freeze, or collapse. This is where distress tolerance comes in.

Distress tolerance doesn’t mean liking the situation. It means building the inner strength to get through it without making it worse. It’s about creating enough space in your body and mind to ride the wave of emotion safely and skillfully.

In this part of our journey, we’ll explore foundational skills that help you stay grounded when everything inside you wants to shut down or run away.

Here we’re going to learn skills that sometimes have immediate effects and help us to change how we feel right now!

As we move through this module, take what resonates and leave the rest. These tools are here to support you—not to push or pressure, but to offer new ways of navigating hard moments with care, dignity, and strength. You're building a toolkit for resilience—one moment, one breath, one choice at a time.

In this module, we'll learn more skills:

• Reality Acceptance Skills: When we fight reality, we suffer more. This skill gently helps us soften into what is, even when it’s painful—because acceptance is not approval, it’s acknowledgment. We’ll work with practices that support surrender, openness, and clarity, especially in situations outside your control.
• How the STOP Skill can help us slow down: STOP is a powerful pause button for the nervous system. It helps you interrupt impulsive reactions and come back into your body with intention. We’ll break it down step by step so you can access it during intense emotional moments—whether you're on the verge of yelling, shutting down, or spiraling.
• The Pros and Cons done differently: This tool supports decision-making in distress. When you're caught between urges—do I act on this or not?—the Pros and Cons skill helps you slow down, look at the bigger picture, and choose based on your values instead of temporary emotion. It’s about giving yourself room to choose wisely, not reactively.
• TIPP Skill to pull us back from the edge: Your nervous system is your foundation. TIPPS gives you body-based tools—temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, and paired muscle relaxation—to lower emotional intensity fast. These are practical, physical interventions to regulate your body when your mind feels overwhelmed.

Part 2

Now that you’ve already begun building your emotional first-aid kit—learning how to pause, ground, and ride the waves of distress without letting them pull you under. In this next part of the journey, we’ll explore skills that support you in staying afloat and gently steering yourself back toward safety, clarity, and care.

Sometimes the goal isn’t to fix everything in the moment—it’s to get through the moment without making it worse. These skills offer practical ways to manage intense emotions when you're feeling flooded, reactive, or stuck.

In this module, we'll learn more skills:

• The Distract Skills: When emotions feel overwhelming, distraction isn’t avoidance—it’s a lifeline. This skill teaches you how to temporarily shift your focus using activities, connection, or even helping others. It gives your nervous system time to settle so you can return to the problem with more clarity.
• Problem Solving: Once the intensity has lowered, your system is more capable of reflection and action. That’s where problem solving comes in. We’ll work on identifying what’s in your control, brainstorming options, and taking small, manageable steps forward—without pressure for perfection.
• Combining the Two Skills: Some moments require both: distraction and problem-solving. We’ll explore how to toggle between these two tools depending on what you need—whether it’s to soothe the storm first or find practical next steps once you’ve caught your breath. Knowing when and how to use each is part of building emotional flexibility.
• Self-Soothing: Your body is always listening. Self-soothing invites you to bring comfort to your senses—sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. These simple practices can signal safety to your nervous system, ease emotional pain, and reconnect you with a sense of grounded presence. This is about tending to yourself like you would a loved one in distress—with gentleness and intention.
• How to IMPROVE the moment your in: This skill is all about shifting the emotional tone of a painful moment. When things can’t be fixed right away, how can you still bring in something meaningful, calming, or sacred?

Distress tolerance isn’t about avoiding emotions—it’s about giving yourself tools to survive them skillfully. You’re learning how to stay present in the storm without letting it carry you away. This work is deep, courageous, and it matters. I’m so glad you’re here.